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Interview with the Author
Why did you write this book?
As my children were growing up I never talked about my past. When they became adults I realized that if I don’t write it down it will be lost forever and they will never know. Also, I think my story has great historical value for the younger generations who know next to nothing about WWII and it is written in an easy way to understand the times (WWII).
How long did it take you?
It took me about six years to write and an additional four years of letting it just lie there. I thought about writing my story when the iron curtain came down and I visited our farm in East Prussia, now Poland, where it all happened. After fifty years I was no longer sure what was real and what I imagined to be real. But I soon realized that it was all too real and that I needed to write my story down. It was a long and difficult process, because it brought so many painful memories back to life. Especially in my dreams, or better said, nightmares.
How old were you in your story?
My story covers about 10 years, starting with age 5 and ending a few days before my 16th birthday when I am on my way to America.
Was Hitler in total control of East Prussia?
Hitler and his gang were in absolute control of all of Germany. Nothing went unnoticed or unreported. There was the Blockleiter, block leader, with three to four farmers under him. Then came the Zellenleiter, cell leader, who presided over half a village. Above him stood the Ortsgruppenleiter, next came the Kreisleiter, county leader, and above him, the most powerful man, the Gauleiter, who oversaw the whole province of East Prussia. This hierarchy, enacted everywhere, enabled Hitler to maintain total control.
Were any of the Russian solders nice to you?
Yes, we did experience an occasional compassionate act of kindness by the Russian soldiers. For example, there was Ivan who stopped by our farm several times by himself just to visit. He came to warn us to leave the isolated farm and go to the village where order was slowly being established.
How did you get to the US?
I came to the US unaccompanied by boat as an American citizen through my naturalized American citizen father who perished in a Russian prison camp. I started life in America in Chicago.
Have you ever been back to the farm?
I went back to East Prussia, now Poland three times in the early nineties after the Iron Curtain came down, to gather background data for my book. These trips made my childhood memories come alive.
How do you feel about the Poles who took your farm?
I have no feelings of resentment towards anyone, neither the Poles nor the Russians. Atrocities were committed by all sides including the Germans. I have learned that every human being has the capacity for doing great good or evil, depending on the circumstances they find themselves in. The strong desire to want to live and survive makes people commit acts they never thought they would be capable of.
Did you ever consider going back to Germany to live?
No, to visit yes and as often as possible. But America is my home, my country, my well being. This is where I belong.
How do your family and friends feel about your story?
My family was surprised to learn about my journey through hell. We never talked about it in the past. It was easier to create a new life by burying the unpleasant experiences rather than to allow myself to be dragged down and held back by them. I could not change the past, but I could do a lot about the future. My brothers, too, have gone through some horrifying experiences, especially my oldest brother who spent three years in a Russian prison camp, but he still cannot talk about it. My family, especially the next generation who know so little about history and WWII, is glad I wrote my story.
Are the people and places real in your story?
The people are real as are the places, only some of the names have been changed. Rape, to this day, is a subject not to be discussed by the surviving women who were forced to submit. Very few women escaped that traumatic persecution, but they will not talk about it, or admit to it if asked.